Arrrrrrrrrgggggggggh

Don't like living this way... Hand-to-mouth, working my ass off for nothing, feeling sad and angry all the time... J has no energy, not faking, actually worried that there is something wrong. Feels like I have lost not all, but much direction in life... again... Just wanted it to work and thought I made the right choice... Well, there was'nt much of one, was there? I had to do it! Weining and crying won't take me far... Just going around with DC:s "Survivor" in my ears: "I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I'm a survivor, not gonna..." lie down and die for nothing :)! God, eventhough probably no one reads these lines it feel better already :)... Just wishing it could be February, or even better March now! Miss having a life I can call my own...